Author Archives: SatNav

About SatNav

SatNav: Lengthy taper 1995 - 2004. Started commuting in London because I didn't like paying rail fares. Returned home to Sydney and figured I still didn't like paying rail fares. A chance meeting at my daughter's baseball put me in touch with the ER's in 2008 and have never looked back (I'm never on the front to do so). Ride daily; haven't commuted by train since. Love it.

SWOTM ride report

Not enough teeth on Bullet’s rear cassette to count the masses at Gordon this morning….great to see the return to the humble beginnings of ER by so many for this Second Wednesday of the Month.

No incidents or accidents to report – all riders managing to clip in/out today – with everyone arriving safely to join our Epping path brethren who were already firmly entrenched on arrival at the B&T.

Plenty out in their purple jerseys from the weekend’s exploits before the return to the traditional tomato and egg tomorrow. Thanks TD for the photos as attached. Drastique’s busily photoshopping a few more for the website that Colette kindly took on the weekend.

A great 3P write up by Mike – many thanks mate – summed it all up well.

Great to see a wing-clipped Magoo both on the way home last night and at the B&T this morning….looking forward to your return pronto.

The Spring Classics calendar will soon be updated…..diarise the Bobbin Head Classic and VD’s assault on the Blayney to Bathurst as next on the list – arrange your leave passes carefully.

Hope BT of the Sahara is doing well – looking forward to normal service being resumed when he gets back.

In other breaking news, Drastique’s lawnmower has broken down, and DT mowed his before running in this morning.

Have a good day all.

Mark / Satnav


Chippo Displays his 2.5 finishers jersey


The ER 2014 3P Crew – well most of them anyway


Report of the FondlERs

Just the 23 ERs amassed in the barriers this morning for the inaugural running of the FondlERs. Various routes on offer thanks to Fore’s detailed route guidance – something for everyone was the promise, and something near 30kmh average the target.

A smooth take off with everyone falling into stride nicely……difficult to get a word in edgeways amidst the chatter…..Dopey got the only mechanical of the day out of the way early along Windsor Road, rumours confirmed that he does in fact travel with the kitchen sink under his saddle.

Whilst most FondlERs had done the Pitt Town route before, unchartered territory for many as we continued along past the Halcrows turn to Maroota where we bid farewell to Murray, thence onto Wisemans taking great care on the descent following Graeme’s valuable guidance during the week. It really is a great road surface along that stretch up to the descent, smooth, quiet, gently uphill….loovely.

Decision time for some at Wisemans – Boolay, Rom, Sam…..being the point of no return for the remaining 120km…..all grabbed the chance and soldiered on manfully, we’ll done guys, what it’s all about. We bid farewell to our brethren on limited leave passes as they turned to head back up the hill towards home, nice one guys.

Our social media tarts set to work with photos of the ferry….the ferryman (who wasn’t paid)….Nicho flirted with near disaster as he climbed aboard…..thankfully all well.

The next 40km skirting the northern edge of the river met expectations in being rough as guts. Another testament here to the ER brother and sisterhood…..calls left, right and centre by all, down the line clear and crisp meant not a puncture, broken spoke or busted rim to be reported. Great work all.

Thence Mangrove Mountain, Magoo spruiking Finchie, Rob CD as the three set off apace…..soon to be joined by Nicko, too big, too strong, great ride all, onwards to the Peats Ridge regathering through a few undulations but noted as not being Drastique Undulations (now a defined term in ER folklore).

Mercury starting to rise and cramps starting to hit a few….best to find out now guys, well done working through them and getting home notwithstanding. Here starteth a string of guidance re what to do about them…..

Three groups formed across the remaining 60km back home….brief stop at PITS for a refill, onwards for some direct home, some via Bobbo for a brief regathering at the North Turra Caff.

Strava suggests a morning of excel for everyone, PRs scattered with gay, ok reckless, abandon….the PRs you won’t read about are the longest ride at highest ave, longest highest ave heart rate etc etc.

Kudos to all, many thanks for a great day out. Suspect this may be a permanent fixture in the Spring Classic calendar.

Mark / Satnav

Half Flutter ride report

Morning all

Beautiful morning for it….not too cold, a bit of fog in the dips but nothing that could dampen the spirits of B1M, MRP and Goaders who were toey for action come 5.15am.

A good tempo start until the fixie ran the chain off the front derailleur coming down nasty little hill….fixed in 5 mins, thanks boys. I was only providing Clutters a chance to catch up….

Picked up Tony at the Forest Way corner – he comes from Roseville proving that it is possible for our Roseville-based brethren and sisteren to join the ride…..great to have you along mate.

All fine down into Akuna but for “the wall” corner where B1M had a slide into the said wall….thankfully all OK with our man….bike recovered well too…”thank goodness it’s not carbon”….”thank goodness it wasn’t Turnip as all that would be left would be a tidy pile of calcium on the ground” (that’s code for great to have you back mate).

Steady pace up and out of Akuna….onto Bayview to pick up Sean, suffering nosebleed being this far north of his Collaroy HQ…great to have you along mate and apols for the slight timing cock-up.

Nothing to report for remainder of journey; rounded out by meeting the throng of 30 or so at the B&T by some caffeinated restoratives.

Welcome new girl Sonya to the fray, fresh from the mountains of the Caymans…..

We do it all again tomorrow….well almost the same anyway….come join the Fluffer.

Thanks for a great spin all.

Mark / Satnav

Goaders and Satnav lead the charge

Goaders and Satnav lead the charge

Bucky ManCave; new training course request

Bucky, this morning’s commute highlighted a significant difference of opinion in the peloton around a topic most of us take for granted; consequently can I request you schedule a training course at the ManCave at the earliest opportunity. I’d suggest setting aside a full afternoon for this one.

The topic: Whether the presta valve needs to be placed in the open position before engaging a C02 canister for the purposes of inflation.

Proponents of the two schools of thought are best summarised as:

(i) those in the picture below, and


(ii) those who think it quite obvious that the valve should be placed in the open position before applying such canister.

You may want to ask participants to bring with them their own supply of canisters for testing purposes.

Fluffer report

As previously advertised our Goaders had been ordered to Melbourne to pick up Bullet’s recently purchased NOS Pinarello frame….and delegated all care and no responsibility for his growing throng of Flufferers to B1M and I. A big pair of Sidis to fill…..

B1M and I arranged to meet in transit at Turramurra well before the sparrows started fa^&oing to rehearse the rider briefing and engage in some general tactical foreplay. Flash’s trailer was mentioned, but more re that one later.

12 with their names ticked off the roll at Snives, detailed briefing given “right we all know the terms and conditions….let’s go”…..and onwards into the darkness picking up Andy H in transit. DNS’s recorded against our Milsons Point and Newport chapters.

Norman threw a right spanner in the works when crossing the Forest Way junction…..thinking she’d spotted Laura, which was interpreted by the remainder as Dora…..neither showed up in the end; peloton concluded Norman was up to her old tricks again, watch out on the 6pm return tonight.

Wet roads and a touch of fog on the way down McCarrs – all safely through the esses, usual hammer down through Church Point to the next regroup point, PWR reached all in good time and spirit.

First run at a rolling paceline executed with……panache and precision….well done all giving something different a go with minimal preparation beforehand.

Then the first of just four punctures for the day – Daf, Bri and Si being the culprits, sorry, victims…..progress slowed somewhat however no-one raised a sweat over it, in true ER fashion…..

A bit of excessive tooting got our Andy fired up through the Neutral sector…..good mornings exchanged and nothing more, aware of the weight on the shoulders of carrying the ER name.

Arrival at the B&T found earlier shifts still in situ, many remaining to share seconds with Fluffs one and all.

A great start to the day; herewith handballing the baton to our Admin for Thursday’s edition.

Have a good remainder of the day all.


3P (not another report) – SatNav

There’s not much left to be said having read the great reports already submitted. Suffice to say a great weekend, no-one left anything out on the road and everyone dug equally deep both for themselves and the wider collective. Precisely what ER is all about.

So my perspective:

  • text from Drastique, 5.15am Saturday “Problems, BT’s car has run out of vegetable oil, he’s getting it towed”
  • arranged for Drastique to awake Lady WBA to get keys to my car instead (which was at WBA’s)
  • WBA couldn’t contact Lady WBA; grave concerns for both Drastique’s and WBA’s safety
  • Kudos Lady WBA for taking all in good humour, BT and Drastique now on their way
  • team ER relieved as Drastique on dinner duty Sat night (which was again sensational)
  • started at what turned out to be the back of Wave 3
  • Ivan and WBA pulled up just over the start line, yelled out to them, all sounded OK, headed onwards (will let Ivan tell the story there; bulk kudos Colette for her assistance here)
  • went past the 10km mark that brought me unstuck last year
  • caught up with Simba up Tawonga, rode the descent together, jumped on a group, gathered in Phantom, all good
  • Buffalo climb was good with the “softer than Thredbo” gearing I had on
  • aim was to try to gather in as many ER brethren as possible up the hill
  • and anyone wearing Sydney-based kit (with the hope of saying “we’re just a bunch of casual commuters”)
  • lunch stop, NNNick departing when I turned in, still 10 minutes to the good….
  • quick bite with Pink, Gav, Bill, Drastique, Wilson
  • good train out to Ovens with Drastique, pulled in Wilson who had gone 2-up up the road
  • stopped with Drastique who needed more painkillers, headed off before him as he needed his seat fixed too
  • tough hit out towards Mount Beauty, difficult to find a group as many crystal cranking, workshy or too quick for me
  • hot but thankfully not windy
  • Drastique returned favour by turning up on my wheel…”Get going….here’s a bunch” (our boy had about 20 behind him and had hauled them back onto my wheel…..champion)
  • that lasted about 10km, split up on the Rosewhite climb
  • rolled into Mount Beauty, 30km to go
  • game of two halves
  • didn’t read the instructions, missed the detail that second 15km was tougher than first 15km
  • hammered first 15km, felt good
  • then struggled in that last 15km, felt ordinary
  • finished
  • but no jersey unfort…..


  • ER. Period.
  • everyone who participated and contributed to the weekend making it what it was, everyone rolled up their sleeves and didn’t need to be asked twice to assist with food, clean up etc etc
  • WBA, NNNick and Ivan for their company in the WBA’s car there and back
  • NNNick for grabbing the BBQ tongs for Sun night meal
  • PD for the Thredbo weekend, many lessons learnt, unlikely I would have finished 3P had I not have learnt those lessons 2 weeks before
  • VD; soulmate following our respective Thredbo disappointments
  • those who texted, emailed, followed on Latitude etc

And for those considering next year:

  • it’s all within our reach
  • manageable with limited weekend ride time
  • let’s do it.

Thanks all


SA Chapter NYE Ride Report

A HNY to all ER’s, their significant others, families and respective accountants.

A brief report of a quality vastly inferior to the standard now accustomed for ER foreign correspondent reports – apologies up front for that.

Plans were hatched about a month ago between Beebs*, WBA and myself for the potential for a canter in Beebs’ backyard – the Adelaide Hills. RTG too expressed interest however was rostered off South Australian family duties this year. Both Beebs and WBA are Adelaide-region locals from way back.

* for those newer members who haven’t yet met Beebs, he’s President of the South Australian Chapter of ER, having relocated home from Sydney a few years back now. He’s one of the few ERs who have been able to escape with providing their own ridename. Longer lived members will lovingly recall Beebs’ first email to the group regarding his thoughts on Alberto. Beebs is doing 3P (again) with us this year, so yet another reason to sign up pronto….

So the stage was set for a NYE spin. Designated meeting point with Beebs…. atop Greenhill Road, about 15km from town of which Strava suggests around 7km is climb (ave 5% or so). Departure time shifted from 5am to 5.15am at last minute as we know WBA likes his sleep.

Another cloudless sky delivered – as seems to be standard here – WBA weaving us through town around the waifs and strays from the night before – noting with great accuracy the judges’ chambers where he cut his legal teeth and still has his initials etched on the benches.

Only a couple of vehicles spotted on the drag up the hill to the meeting point – one cyclist going past but no appetite to chase down (sorry Clutters). A few minutes behind schedule prompted a WTFRU text from Beebs…..responded with “we’re near the top when we find out where it is”….

Eventually we found our man; still with Mallee Bull strength in whippets clothing; De Rosa champing at the bit; has got himself acquainted with a power crew of locals including his 37 year old neighbour he’s “domestiquing” in her prep for Ballarat shortly….watch this space.

Beebs took the reins for a spin of about 65km through his backyard. Absolutely sensational. Great roads, quiet, tree lined sections, plenty of opportunities for pain uphill or pinning the ears back going down. Beebs being the consummate gentleman guided us through some sharp downhills but regained elevation gently – the reverse route would have been a much different story – leaving ample opportunity for discussion and dissection of all matters important in the lives of three young practitioners of the pedal. Couldn’t ask for better.

Coffee absorbed at Stirling – alongside an electric power bowser which we assumed was for WBA’s Di2 – and a quick drool over an Eddy Merckx steely being piloted by a fellow practitioner sitting closeby.

Thence onward/upward to Mt Lofty – 180 degree views down over town and far beyond – mugshots below:

We bid Beebs thanks and farewell and headed off for a 15km downhill roll back to town – on bike path for the majority – and dreamt what it might be like to have all of this on your doorstep…..

[as an aside, I went for a drag up to Mt Lofty myself this morning, where the Egg and Tomato was recognised by a fellow cyclist……a mate of Schleck’s from Artarmon no less….needless to say, recruited]

[another spin with Beebs planned for tomorrow morn – excellent – WBA unfortunately on family duties. Lobbster, will be trying the Corkscrew; cleat covers will be carried]

Great to read about so many being out and about on the pedals over the holiday period……take care out there and watch out for fellow cyclists trying to slingshot.

Yours in spreadsheets.


Abbrev. Flutter Ride Report

Afternoon all

Just the 10 loitering with intent at 5.30am opposite Pattisons this fine morning:

  • Schleck
  • WBA
  • B1M
  • B1C
  • Admin
  • Dobbo
  • Tony
  • Stealth
  • CCChris
  • with me taking the minutes

Simba wasn’t there despite threats otherwise on the return route last night. Next time mate.

B1C wanted the itinerary firmed up there and then in terms of the route – whether the boys go left and do Akuna and the others turn right, whether we take in the beaches etc etc. B1M concluded matters by stating “we’ll sort it out at the bottom of Akuna”. Great to see everyone heeding that direction…..

Having not seen our Stealth for a few weeks I thought best to ensure he was awake by “locking up” the TSS 3P Shamal rear on the slalom run into Akuna – thankfully our boy was indeed awake and didn’t contribute any additional forward momentum that could have resulted in me seeing the landscape at close vicinity. Overestimated my own ability after seeing Schleck disappear from site off the front. Lesson learnt.

Rolling regroup in advance of the climb out of Akuna – young fella up the road in front of us provided target practice. All executed a perfect ascent with little huffing, puffing etc.

A great spin through the Church Point sector onto Pittwater Road – eyes eagerly peeled for our Capt aboard the L90 – how rude of us to consider, he was of course on the OTP.

Great tempo along PWR notwithstanding red lights aplenty. Through the Spit, Parriwi etc, and onto the B&T without incident, in time to see our OTP brethren. Apart from learning afterwards that Tony lost 2 phones in transit – no, one wasn’t his xylophone. Dobbo tracking said phones via Latitude.

Strava at breaking point from all the PR’s recorded – great effort all – sings the praises of getting into a decent tempo that everyone can live with.

Schleck has tabled a motion for the Flutter to be a permanent fixture on Wednesdays….all those in favour. Unanimous.

Have a good one all.

Mark / Satnav

Monday Medals Ceremony

Fellow practitioners of the pedal

A great morning for it this morn – warm temperatures, 20-odd out – the remainder pleading some form of distant relationship with the banking sector to warrant a sleep in.

Much activity on the weekend if Strava’s anything to go by – Maraylya, Calga TT, West Head, West-to-East across the UK to name a few…..all good practice for our next formal outing being the SCC Bowral Ride – shout if you haven’t received an entry form and I’ll flick on.

Great to see our Simba back on the pedals again this morning – flirting with touching up Bullet’s 34s record on the Lavendar sprint – comes in handy as he lives just around the corner. Only Danny Boy and Simba challenging in the Under 23 age group at this point.

Much chatter around the eastern end of the B&T desks (-33° 51′ 44.6184″, 151° 12′ 14.6586″), seemingly led by our British born contingent, re Australia’s Olympic medal (singular). There was widespread confusion amongst those born on these shores as the WTF they were referring to. Lawn Bowls is the only sport Australia follows or truly aspires to, now that our junior development Darts squad was beaten by Djibouti over the weekend.

Stealth full of lip on other matters too – chose to come in on his day off to address ER emails, there’s a good lad. Still waiting to see some quality output.

Exciting news of the Girls of ER coming together – new jerseys being designed as we speak – not sure whether to ask for new zips or not. The recent preponderance of ride names of the fairer ilk should see numbers off to a flying start. So come summer with a fair wind we’ll have ER, Girls of ER, and kids of Girls of ER. What a proposition.

Marketing efforts getting a boost of late – an ER “bus” timetable taking shape – and more consideration of whether we incorporate as it’s easier when we IPO (no, not EPO)… this space.

Norse bound men and women gathering SHBS at 5.15pm and 6pm.

Not much else to report; have a good remainder of the day all.

Marcia/Satusha Navratilova

Virgin spotted in Chatswood

Morning all

Yes, they can be spotted a mile off with such trained eyes as those within the ER Peloton. Even without C.Hippo’s guidance.

Awaiting in full expectation was our newboy Andrew “not the rugby” Blades – in brilliant white, awaiting any passers by going his way. He jumped on the back of our 15 strong peloton with glee, and the rest was history. Henceforth known as Virgin, for the kind consideration of our our FM naming committee. Zlatko proposed “Angel” but that sounded marginally more complimentary, so Virgin herewith proposed.

(rewind) A brisk morning at the Fox Valley Road meeting point for our West of the Highway sect – just B1 and myself. Regular contender Teflon not seen, presumably still recovering from being told “where to go and how best to get there” from a little altercation on the SHB last night. Our two new Mark’s promising return soon, and RTG still working out how to address the quip yesterday of having both a Pinarello and a Volvo (there’s a few others in that basket mind you….)

Much excitement and anticipation of BT’s return; amounted to nothing as he was apparently late all the way through, and had to suffer Contador’s company by way of penalty…..

Stealth looking for a softer cassette – anyone have a 32 at the top end that can assist our man with spinning a bit more freely?

Bullet sporting his trial-by-chamois knicks – gave a detailed account of his experience at the B&T to the 20 odd or so who braved Vic’s lack of patio heaters. Coffees in the duplicate taken for only the hardened….

Formations taking shape already for the 5.15pm and 6pm entourages northbound.

Have a good one all.