Sunday Service

Grant style, per previous requests —

  1. 6am Walk out of house into pouring rain for pleasant Sunday ride to Cronulla.
  2. 6:15am Stop on Vimiera Road to fix flat rear tyre in downpour.
  3. Climb back on bicycle resisting curiously strong urge to turn around, ride home, and climb into bed.
  4. Notice how little traffic seems to be out on the Cooks River Cycleway today.
  5. Pedal into tempest on Botany Bay. Note south-west gale is almost perfectly head-on rounding the point at Sans Souci.
  6. Arrive at Cronulla, drop soaking kit into dryer, load new fridge onto trailer, drive back to Turramurra.
  7. Move old broken fridge out of garage.
  8. Move new broken fridge out of kitchen into garage.
  9. Move new fridge off trailer into kitchen.
  10. Load old broken fridge onto trailer, drive to Chateau d’Half.
  11. Load new new fridge onto trailer and collect a comically large adjustable spanner (bonus, thanks Half!). Drive to Cronulla.
  12. Move new new fridge into garage, drive old broken fridge to tip.
  13. Tip closed, drive back to Cronulla.
  14. Extract kit from dryer, load work clothes, shoes, and comically large adjustable spanner into backpack. (Seriously doesn’t even fit in there; no matter which way I stuff it in, one end of the spanner pokes out the top of the pack!)
  15. Hoist pack.
  16. Comically large adjustable spanner not so funny now.
  17. Ride into howling southerly expecting to blow all the way home.
  18. Note south-west gale has inconveniently shifted to the south-east, almost perfectly head-on rounding the point at Sans Souci.
  19. Become hopelessly lost in Olympic Park vortex. (Strava map looks like Etch-A-Sketch drawing.)
  20. Emerge in Rhodes to (a) darkening skies and (b) realisation that all the elevation between here and Turramurra has yet to be gained.
  21. Consider chucking comically large and increasingly unfunny spanner in the river.
  22. Note shoe sticking into back was annoying, now painful. Also, desperately needing to pee. Also: front tyre needing air.
  23. Stubbornly refuse to stop for anything that’s not a hot shower or a cold beer.
  24. 8pm Roll into garage. Head straight to kitchen to retrieve cold beer from new fridge — hey, the light works! — take cold beer straight to hot shower.
  25. Collapse in comfy chair and make odd, unintelligible noises for a good half an hour or so.

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